Monday, September 16, 2013

for my sake.

I remember like yesterday
You had a dream in your eyes and a smile on your face
And I'm missing those days again, yeah I'm missing those days again
And I forgot what really got in the way
Maybe the sun that wouldn't shine should be taking the blame
Cause its raining on me again, yeah its raining on me again

A paradox
The key you dropped
A manifest
For what you lost, was me
For my sake please....

Stop slowing me down, stop holding me up
Quit making a scene, enough's enough
Let's be honest, your promise, was never meant to last
So I'm taking you on, I'm calling you out
There's nothing left for us here now
Let's be honest, I promise I'm never looking back for my sake
For my sake

Tell me something that's poetic at best
Make me believe there was a time you weren't like the rest
And I'll never ask you again, I'll never ask you again
For all the moments and the memories
No one could ever say we never had a history
But I'm leaving that all behind
And there is nothing gonna change my mind

-------

"Every song ends. But is that any reason not to enjoy the music?"


I have to let you go. You hurt me more than you heal me. I won't give you the satisfaction to know exactly what I am thinking. You get far too much pleasure out of my pain. I thought you were my friend. I wish you a life of happiness but, I know that everyday you will think of me. When you hear that song. When you watch that television show. When you see that celebrity. When you find that old photograph. Your heart will ache and you should know that I tried my best to save it. But you didn't want it. And that's on you, forever.



Tuesday, September 10, 2013

don't forget to remember me

Being married to someone in the military is hard. We all know that. There are deployments, moving so far away from home, not having family close by and one of the worst things is finding a friend that won't betray your good heart.  I come from the south where people are nice. If you're driving down an old country road and you pass someone, you wave. You say yes ma'am, yes sir. Fried chicken is a staple. Your mama will always be the best cook, hands down. Your grandfather will always have the best stories. We love our sweet tea. Football is where its at. And lastly (but not least!) when you have a friend, you know you can depend on them.

My family and I moved to California in July of 2010. I have met a lot of people in our three years out here. Some are nice. Some are chatty. Some talk about their husbands rank way too much. Some are liars and then there are those that want to be your friend just to gain a good gossip story that they can twist around. It's sad but true. I've noticed that this life is a bit like high school. But worse, if you can imagine. We're grown ass men and women and half of us spend 97% of our days just telling tall tales. What's the point? Where is it getting you?

I am not saying everyone is bad! That is actually the purpose of this blog entry tonight.

I've had a rough history of getting too close to people and ending up burned. You grow with someone in a friendship and you think that they will always keep all your secrets, listen to you, give sound advice and make you laugh. But then something happens and 'poof'.....it's over. Because of this, I keep my guard up a lot and only let a very select few people in.

I met Tanisha online three years ago. A mutual friend introduced us through Facebook. We added one another and occasionally talked via message but never officially met even though we were literally right around the corner from each other. To be totally honest, I was fearful of meeting her because, she intimidated the hell out of me! Tanisha just has this look about her that says,"I know who I am and what I am doing. I don't need your help." 

A year and a half later when I was moving back to California after spending a deployment back home in Alabama Tanisha and I finally met face to face. I went over to her house and the chemistry was instant. I have never met someone that I felt completely comfortable with that fast. Some would say its because we talked online and through text so much but I don't think so. We are exactly alike yet totally different if that makes any sense at all.


It's a rare occurrence when you find someone in this life that you just sync perfectly with. Especially when you've got children. You could get along great with someone but your kids bicker constantly, therefore putting a kink in your relationship. But not us. Our children have grown together and I am fortunate that Payton and Austin were able to make such good friends in Eli, Ayden and Asher. You have raised such amazing boys Tanisha!

Eli, Ayden & Austin 2012


Asher, Ayden, Payton, Austin & Eli July 4, 2013
They've grown so much!!
The time has come for the Montgomery family to move away from California though. Bigger adventures call their name and I couldn't be happier for them. I know that Chicago is gaining a terrific family and I wish you all nothing but the best. I pray that happiness consume your lives.

I am also, so very sad. In my three years here I have seen a lot of people come and go but it never bothered me much. That's because I was never close with those that left until now. I know that it's not goodbye forever. But right now it feels that way. Knowing that I can't just pop over to your house anymore is weighing me down. Who am I going to call to fight my battles because I am too chicken? You always were a great bodyguard T!

You have done so much for me I don't think I could ever repay you. From helping me through my entire pregnancy to just being a shoulder to cry on. You've never judged. You've always been direct with your opinion. You always know exactly where I am coming from. I am going to miss you like crazy Tanisha! I look forward to hearing about all the new Monty adventures. I love you!

Baby shower!

July 2013 :)


We will see each other again!